The Final Problem

Anonymous asked: PLEASE DO. (I mean, open a Sherlock-themed poetry cafe...) WE SHALL ALL SPIT RHYMES AND DRINK DRUGGED COFFEE AND FLAP OUR UMBRELLAS AS APPLAUSE.

YES, UMBRELLAS.

WE WILL ALL REQUIRE UMBRELLAS.

custardcreems asked: Another poem! :D You must be sick of these, but I'm sure one more won't hurt ^^:: Roses are red/Violets are blue/Ms Hudson took my skull/So I guess you'll have to do.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ms Hudson took my skull
So I guess you’ll have to do

I AM GOING TO OPEN A SHERLOCK-THEMED POETRY CAFE AND THERE WILL BE AN OPEN MIC AND WE WILL ALL SNAP OUR FINGERS WHEN SOMEONE IS DONE READING THEIR POEM AND THEN WE WILL SIT AROUND DRINKING DRUGGED COFFEE

obsessionisaverystrongword asked: I absolutely adore your blog and decided to take your busy mind off of THE PAINFUL PAINFUL HEART WRENCHING REICHENBACH things with this- There once was a man from Baker Street/ with whose brain no could ever compete/ but he often felt alone/till the night he asked for Mike's phone/and from then there were rainbows at Baker Street. Hope you have a lovely day! :D

Reformatted for your enjoyment, followers:

There once was a man from Baker Street
with whose brain no could ever compete
but he often felt alone
till the night he asked for Mike’s phone
and from then there were rainbows at Baker Street

Thanks for the poem! I did need that, though the part of my body that is currently being wrenched by a PAINFUL REICHENBACH THING is my BRAIN.

The promised Crack Theory That Thinks It’s People is coming, everyone. I wasn’t teasing about that, and I haven’t forgotten you. It’s just that it involves so much stuff that I wasn’t even slightly focused on while I was working on the “how did Sherlock survive?” question that I’ve had to write up an entire theory just as background information for the C.T.T.T.I.P.

So if I’m quiet this afternoon, it’s just because I’m trying to focus on getting that done for you so it can infect your minds as well.

Or because I’m taking a macaroni & cheese break, because I finally got some macaroni & cheese.

Anonymous asked: I don't have a tumblr so this will have to be anonymous, but I liked the poetry slam, so I wrote two for you: Rhodedendrons are red/some species are violet/You know I'm not dead/But can't quite compile it -and- John isn't here/I'll talk to my skull/What on earth am I doing?/Poetry is dull. (Sorry about the formatting, apparently I can't use the enter key.)

Aw, thanks, Anon! My valentine for you is pressing the return key several times:

Rhodedendrons are red
some species are violet
You know I’m not dead
But can’t quite compile it

John isn’t here
I’ll talk to my skull
What on earth am I doing?
Poetry is dull.

aliveinabox:

totalspiffage:

glower:

conbatty:

roses are red
violets are blue
you must be reichenbach because i’m falling for you 

roses are red
violets are blue
look at this love that i.o.u

Deduction is great
It requires precision
Forget John and Sherlock
You’re my division.  

Mycroft is fat
Sherlock is thinner
I’ll be your Irene
Let’s have dinner.

Roses are red.
Skulls are white.
I made you some coffee,
My conductor of light.

(Source: robobat)